Diary of a Lioness



Thursday 30 October 2008

Good Stuff!


Hey my darlings, how are you all?




I have been on the computer literally all afternoon, so I will keep this one short as my eyes are starting to play up!



I just finished writing an article for Eclectic mag; it's about love, so make sure you check it out. I'll keep you all posted on when the next issue is out. And it's not just for us girls, despite me being a woman and writing it from my point of view. I'm sure all you men out there will appreciate what I am saying.



For some reason I am being flooded with features and interviews; so I did 2 today. One I did last week should be up over the next couple of days....I'll let you know ;)

Don't know why you lot are all so interested in me lol.



A girl told me today that she thinks I am so beautiful that it makes girls wish they were guys. Looooool. I found that one funny. Forget being a guy. Then I wouldn't be able to drool over Tyson Beckford. Or maybe I'd stand more of a chance? That's according to some rubbish rumours I've been hearing. I refuse to believe it.



Ok, I've also been going through a few pics that I shot the other day with Jay Stewart. Can't wait to shoot with him again and get some more shots for my Member's Only. My website is still under construction http://www.PortiaFreno.com but will soon have all the Member's features up on there. How exciting ;)



I have been asked to be a guest presenter for an event on the 4th November. I was very interested as it is showcasing amazing talent and has a hollywood theme ;) I forgot to tell you guys about that so I am inviting you now. For more info on that email me. It'll be a lot of fun and the tickets are really cheap. Oh, and there is free champagne!



I had a wicked night last night! Me and my girl had too much fun and ate sooo much as well. I feel like a right pig but I don't care cos thinking about last night I am still laughing. Love you Lis xxxx Oh yeah and we made up for the eating loads by going on a little mission (we walked to the shop to get more to eat)



I'm feeling really good guys. And I hope you all are too. Life is too short to not be. I have my family, work is going great, I have loads of amazing friends, my love life is fantastic... ;)



I have a lot to be grateful for. So, though it might bore you, I will make sure that I always remember that.



For some reason I can't stop smiling!



Oh and it looks like I may have a fantastic new PA on my hands! The trial finishes on the 4th so we will see who makes it but I think I already know....



Anyway, I am off to meet with my photographer



Keep smiling; I am!!



Portia xxxx



Wednesday 29 October 2008

I'M FEELING GREAT!!...I LOVE MY GIRLS!! ;)



Woo Hoo!! Talk about a change of heart!!


There are a couple of reasons why I have already pulled out of the temporary zombie-like depression that I fell into a couple of days ago.


Firstly, and most importantly, my girls. I love them so much. I honestly do not know where I would be without them. I'm usually quite a proud person; when I am in trouble or need to ask for a favour I usually refrain from asking them and if they ever find out later they usually go mad at me. It's not like I don't already know that they will be there for me, but I just don't like to put my problems on to other people.


But...Obviously when it comes to love and stuff like that, they are the first people I call. :)


So. Last night my girl cheered me up by cooking me a meal and we had a little talk, and she made me realise a few things...I was already feeling a lot better and was going to stay at hers that night so that we could open a bottle and continue with the gossiping....until...............HE called ;)


Photobucket

Yes. HE. Many of you already know who, but for now he will remain anonymous. Because that is just how I am ;)


But what matters is that he called, and we spoke. And then we met up! And it was beautiful....but odd.


Now, I am not going to get into why it was a bit odd; it's not that it was odd between us, but something quite odd happened. So now I am itching to meet up with my other girl so we can gossip and she can tell me what she thinks....because if I am honest I don't know what to think!!!!


I'm not meeting her until 8......seems like a lifetime away :( Even on the phone we are like "No we can't talk about it yet, it's got to be saved for when we meet up, we need to discuss it all from start to finish." Lol. Girls, I know you can relate.


Photobucket

There's nothing better than a catch up with your girls. And because of my crazy life, you could not speak to me for only a few hours and I'll still have loads to update you on!!!! Guaranteed!! Sometimes I don't know how my friends keep up. And my memory can be so bad, that half the time I'm asking them what happened to me! I'll be telling them a story, and then they'll cut in like "No P, that's not what happened. You did this, then that, then so and so said that" and I'm like, oh yeah, for real.


Oh I love it.


Sometimes I think my life is too crazy, too random, too screwed up


Other times, I am SO GRATEFUL for my life, what I have achieved, the opportunities that come my way, the experiences I've been fortunate enough to have experienced.


And I am extremely excited about the future ;) I get butterflies when I think about it, lol


Anyhoo.....so, like I said, something rather odd happened, and now I am left thinking....


Wish I could share all my thoughts with you guys sometimes...


Can I thank you for your messages and emails regarding my last 2 posts; it's mad that so many of you that I have never met, may never even meet, genuinely care and can send me advice that actually benefits me and that I can be grateful for. Thank you ;) Mmwwaaaaahhhhh


I've got to get back to work. As usual. I've got a few people on trial to be my new PA; one is already really impressing me over the others; she is doing a fantastic job.


I'm hungry, haven't eaten yet :(


Love you


Portia xx




Tuesday 28 October 2008

Didn't sleep. Was in too much flipping pain. It's not even a joke. You're probably thinking well you never sleep anyway Portia. But this is different. I really wanted to sleep; anything to take my mind off the hurt.

Anyway; it's a new day, got a lot of work to do, and even though I really can't concentrate, I'm going to do my best and just throw myself into it to try and forget everything else. It's just so hard when you're whole body, soul, head, mind everything just hurts. If that makes sense. Just feel weak.

Sorry to be all negative; usually when something really hurts I just push it to the back of my mind and try to forget it. But it seems like an impossible task right now.

If I continue to feel like this I will try not to write on here; don't want to depress you all

Gonna try and get back to work

Portia

Monday 27 October 2008

Real love only really hurts when you lose it

It's not like I haven't felt like this before. I've felt a lot worse; a lot worse has happened.

I think it's the way it happened, and how suddenly it happened

I feel like a piece of me is missing. The mad thing is, I didn't realise how big a piece of me that was. Until it was gone

And it is gone. I can feel it. I hope that I am wrong.

But I feel that I am right. My instincts told me yesterday, and I knew

I feel empty, and numb.

If someone had told me say half a year ago that I would feel like this if ever a situation like this was to occur, I would have laughed in their face.

But now I am experiencing it. And I'm not laughing.

It's 4am. I should try to sleep but I can't. I should at least get some work done but I can't stop asking myself "why on earth did I do that? Why do I insist on pushing the best people away?"

Until I can find the real answer to that, I may never change. And I can't keep hurting myself, and I can't keep hurting other people.

My closest friends, and those in his circle, knew how much he meant to me. But now that I may have lost him, I've realised I loved him

And those close to him and I know how screwed up that is

He was more or less perfect

All I have now is this sick feeling in my stomach; since that phone call in the restaurant last night

All day today, during the shooting and the filming I couldn't even concentrate properly; I didn't perform my best. My mind was somewhere else.....

I feel sick, and I'm not going to start going even deeper into my feelings

So I will do what I do with most things that really hurt

Try to forget it

Portia

Sorry guys, haven't forgotten about you...










Ok so today was a normal day; shooting and filming. I shot with my own photographer www.myspace.com/js_photographer Jay will be shooting anything I do exclusively because I love his work; he's very talented, hardworking and creative, and when it comes to my business I only work with the best or those I trust. Check him out, add him on FaceBook, Jay Stewart, and if you mention me I'm sure he will do you a good rate. And he will definitely make you proud ;)





The rest of the week is gonna more or less be the same for me, so apologies that you haven't really heard from me since my birthday, and you may not really hear from me much this week cos I've got quite a bit going on





I'm also feeling a little down. I miss someone very dear to me; and being the person that I am, I was threatened by something that could have been amazing, and was a total bitch to prevent being hurt





Let's not get into that





Love you all





Portia xx





Thursday 23 October 2008

BIRTHDAY GIRL GOT SPOILED!!!


I want to thank you all so much for your birthday wishes; and I've never received so many gifts before!!!! My fans have sent me some unbelievable stuff!! From gift vouchers and bags, to Spa retreats and holidays!!!! Can you believe it? I was so shocked! I was feeling a little down for the first part; everyone was jetting off and leaving me to go to places like Barbados and Dubai :( and I was jealous because I had to stay and work...but then my girls made sure I had a wonderful night! Well, from what I can remember. And I was too busy celebrating with the girls that I didn't have time to check all your lovely messages...So I was just speechless when I saw them all and then my PA called me telling me about all the gifts that have been sent and I was like YEEEAAAAHHHH! Thanks ;)

So, I've been spoiled like mad and I'm feeling like a lucky bitch right now. And Kanye sent me a birthday message to my email as well! Either that or he asked his PA to send me it, but either way it's a good look when someone as big and busy as him finds out it's my birthday and takes the time to make sure I know he knows, lol. I made you a link so you can see it cos obviously you cannot have my email details ;)

http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/scripts/viewemail.php?TR=YzM5MzMwNDksMzI0LDkzMDcsYzA=

So, for the last time, thank you to all my friends, fans and even those random celebs that emailed me, sent me gifts, left me comments, and for making me have a wonderful time. It's not over yet though!! I'm celebrating this weekend or next weekend, or even the weekend after, lol. As soon as I have proper free time I am going to invite you all out to party with me; look out for the invite ;)

Only 22 years old....I feel so much older sometimes...

Love ya

Portia xx

Tuesday 21 October 2008

I JUST DON'T STOP!!


Yet another feature....Check it out :)

http://dynastyseries.com/2008/10/dynasty-series-spotlight-portia-freno/

And you guys are flooding me with emails and messages to wish me a Happy Birthday for tomorrow!! Thaaaaannnnk yoooouuuu!!!! Love you all ;) To be honest my birthday is not a big deal to me this year; it seems to be more of a big deal to everyone else!! I'm non-stop, and I'm going to be working as usual..got an interview and an event to attend....But it's all fun so it's all good.

Speak soon

Portia xxxx

Photobucket

Sunday 19 October 2008

AS PROMISED...

....My latest radio interview. Enjoy xx

Missed me??

Photobucket



Hey people,

Sorry but this is going to have to be a quick one again. I have 25 minutes before I have to be somewhere and I have to reply to emails and stuff... Sorry to be all boring on you! But what I have been busy doing has been far from boring...... Guess what?? Remember the other day I got asked to do a feature for YoRaps.com? Well....the editor wrote to me saying that they had so much good feedback on me that they would like me to do an exclusive regular video blog for the site!! This is big!! That site is like no.1 for HipHop news and the latest happenings in the industry, and they want me to feature regularly! Well obviously I was flattered and said yes. The only problem I had at first was the fact that I will have a personal video blog on my website for my Members, but it's cool. The Members will get something completely different and just as good ;)

So now, a lot of the time that I'm out or attending/hosting events I will have my film crew, lol. And I will just be generally keeping everyone up to date on the world of Portia

Which, at the moment, is just a blur of the usual; filming, shooting, planning, eating, chilling etc.

I had a shoot yesterday for some of my Member's Only pictures and Merchandise. That went well. Managed to wrap it up in just a few hours. I kept it natural though; didn't cake myself in make up and made it more about me and my personality, so hours wasn't spent on hair and make up which I guess contributed to it being over so quick.

Had a few other shoots for my website and promo, and the rest of the time I've been with old friends...

So it's more or less been the same old....

Anyway, I need to run through my emails and listen to my latest radio interview; I'll post it up for you in a bit

There's so much more we could learn from just accepting the way we are rather than being attached to the way we'd like to be

Just a thought

Portia xx

Oh and if you missed out on the feature, you can view it here http://www.yoraps.com

Photobucket

Wednesday 15 October 2008

I've got the flu!! :(

I am feeling so sorry for myself right now!! Well not really sorry for myself, more like angry with myself because now I am not sure if I should attend the MOBO's or not! I have about 1 minute to make my decision and then start getting ready. But realistically the best thing for me to do is just rest. It hardly makes sense being on the red carpet surrounded by glamourous looking people, sneezing and looking like Rudolph!! Awww man. I'm quite annoyed.



Oooooookkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy







I'm over it. Shit happens. And I had a wonderful night last night at the Africa Rising event which makes up for it. It was such an amazing and inspiring night. Colin Powell (Former US Secretary of State, and as Trevor Nelson announced, "The best black president we never had") gave a fatastic speech which really uplifted the crowd, and can you believe Nigeran Hip Hop group Olu Maintain (who I love!) had Colin dancing and singing on stage! It was so much fun!

Photobucket



Then there were the fashion shows; I don't even know where to start. Some gorgeous designs from Chris Air and I absolutely adored Oswald Boateng's show; his suits are off the hook (And his models, lol) With some of the biggest catwalk models in the game it really was a show never to be forgotten. And I MUST get my hands on some of the designs; they were to die for.



I was dressed from head to toe in African attire; I will post some pics when I can. Did the whole red carpet thing and that was fun; everyone was going crazy until Christina Aguilera came right behind us then everyone really did start going mad!! Seal gave a great performance and had everyone up out of their seats.



I'm just so glad to have been a part of such a great cause and to be able to support. Africa really is on it's way up. And like Colin Powell said; we need to focus on our younger generation because they are our future. Please keep checking my website for more info on my charity http://www.portiafreno.com/ In the meantime, if you are on FaceBook ;) join the group and support the cause. It's early days but I am excited about it, especially after having so much support with it.



Anyway, there was an after party at the Ritz, but me trying to be sensible and a good girl I decide to take myself home as it was midnight, I had a shoot first thing in the morning and I wanted to look fresh for the MOBO's and as I was already feeling quite ill I thought it best if I just go home and catch up on some beauty sleep.



But no



Looks like i might as well have partied after all! Because look where being sensible got me! I woke up even worse anyway! Ok it probably didn't help that I was up with a friend till like 5 in the morning, but that's not the point.



So here I am, I've hardly moved apart from getting up to have a shower, and now I'm gonna head off down the road to get some oranges and smoothies and any superfoods that are gonna help :(



Anyone who hits the after party tonight have a drink on me.



And I'm not jealous.



Not in the slightest



Bye.



Portia xx


Oh and did I forget to mention Tyson? How thoughtless of me.

He is even better looking in real life ;)

No, I didn't think that possible either. But trust me, it's true. Won't say anymore

Photobucket

Monday 13 October 2008

Coming Back To London....

I am coming back to London!

It was really good chilling out with my fam, but it's time to get back to work!!


I have a couple of photoshoots this week, plus I will be attending a very high profile event tomorrow so I will probably come down to London tonight or first thing tomorrow morning.... Here's the link to the event.


http://tickets.royalalberthall.com/season/production.aspx?id=13171&src=t&monthyear=10-2008

I will tell you all how it went; I'm looking forward to seeing Tyson Beckford on the catwalk!! Who wouldn't be!! ;) I am also looking forward to seeing Alek Wek and Naomi Campbell strut their stuff; how exciting!!


Anyway, I need to wash my hair and pack a few things....


Will catch you later


Portia xx




Sunday 12 October 2008

I WAS IN THE PRESS IN CHINA!!

Just thought I'd post this up for you to see; it's one thing being in the press here but when it's in a mad place like China it's just crazy and exciting!

Photobucket

The article was covering Asianstar24; Macau's first reality show. But Stevie Eagles latest project The Diva-Diaries, something I am proud to say I am a part of, was also talked about!

Oh it's so exciting!!!

Watch this space!

Nite nite

Sweet dreams

Portia xxxx

Photobucket

Check It Out


My latest feature on Yoraps.com. It's been nominated for Online Magazine Of The Year for an SEA award so be sure to vote!

Recently I've been asked to do quite a few features/interviews so I will keep you all posted on where you can read, or hear them.


As you probably know I've been spending this weekend with my family, so I haven't got any events, adventures or mad stories to tell you about for a change!! But it's felt good being back in "normality". Although I've had arguments with my little brother that have made me feel like I am 14 again!! Reminded me why I moved out at such a young age!!


I've really urgently got to write an article so I will leave you with the link to my interview; feel free to leave your thoughts underneath


Just click on my image when it appears on the left hand side


Enjoy!

Never forget where you came from


Portia xx




Friday 10 October 2008

It's been a very odd day. I've felt strange all day, and I can't quite put my finger on what it is.

I've been feeling ok one minute and then extremely upset the next.

Life is short; like crazy short. What do you have time for? What should you bother with or let get to you? What should you really care about?

A while ago, someone asked me to send a get well soon message to one of their friends to cheer them up. I did so, off course, and didn't think much of it. Ever since, the guy who I sent the message to has left me happy bubbly comments that made my day, or sent me uplifting messages.

The other day, I responded to one of the messages, and also asked if he was feeling better now. I assumed he was, I mean, I thought it was just a flu or something. He told me that in fact no, what he has is quite serious. After finding out exactly what it was he was ill with I couldn't help but cry. I couldn't believe what I was reading. This guy was such a happy, positive person! And I get angry over crap to do with my work or stupidness, when this guy has been sitting in hospital all this time and still found the strength to be cheerful.

It made me feel angry at myself and made me realise what a nasty, shallow world/industry I live in. We are all so self-absorbed sometimes and rarely stop to think about others and how it is so much worse for other people. Well actually, I do often, but hearing what he was going through really affected me for some reason. I mean, really affected me. After all the sweet things he sent me I never had a clue he was in hospital the whole time!

The worst things happen to the best people

It reminded me of a girl very close to me, more like a sister, who is also one of the most strongest, positive people that I know, despite her illness trying to destroy her; she won't let it.

I miss her

Since that day I just can't seem to concentrate fully on my work. I feel better knowing that I am trying to help others. I just want to be in a position where I am a role model and in a position to change things. All these powerful, influential people that still only concentrate on themselves and have nothing positive to do or say just make me sick.

Anyway, I've been going through lots of emails, doing interviews and trying to write an article all day. Jill Scott and Erykah Badu have got me through this weird day...they take you to another world. Could listen to them all day.....

Check out my latest feature on YoRaps.com

I'm going to be spending the weekend with my family. I really miss them these days what with my hectic lifestyle.

Only concentrate on what is important. Get rid of anything negative in your life.

Make right what you have done wrong; don't have regrets.

Make sure those who you love and are important to you, know just how much

Life is way too short

Portia

http://www.Yoraps.com

Wednesday 8 October 2008

Lunch With A Stranger...


I NEVER get spare time. That isn't actually a joke. Even when I am trying to sleep my mind is buzzing with work, ideas, the next day, the next week, the next year!!!!

But I have found myself in Bond Street after an early morning meeting, with SPARE TIME.

Ok, technically, I do not have spare time. Lets face it, I've got stuff to do. But it all involves emails, paperwork and research and frankly, I can't be bothered.

No, you are not seeing a whole new side of me; a lazy cow that has given up on her work commitments. But you are maybe seeing a slightly, and only slightly side of me that is learning that it is ok to not work for a few hours. Every now and then I am going to say sod it, can't be bothered. Apparently it'll be good for me.

So, I've just finished answering questions for a feature on me and I've decided I wanna go for lunch, an INFORMAL lunch that doesn't involve talking about business, with a stranger. Is that weird? Lunch with a stranger. Hmmmm. Not sure why it appeals to me but it does. Anyway I posted on my FaceBook status that I was looking for a lunch partner and FLIPPIN ECK I got about 60 inbox messages within the first 5 minutes. So now I've got spare time AND MORE work to do, work that involves deciding what I want to eat and who I want to eat it with. It's quite funny actually.

Ok I'm not promoting meeting up with strangers form the internet. I'll be safe, don't worry. I probably won't even meet anyone. In fact I'm probably gonna get in a bit of trouble just even promoting that I am free and available for lunch, as well as even thinking about meeting with a stranger but you know what? Who cares? It's all part of my new "sod it" attitude. Hope it doesn't last too long

Thai or Sushi?

Portia xx

Tuesday 7 October 2008

Confessions...


I had way too many cheeseburger's last week

I had a Double Cheeseburger yesterday

I am still best friends with Ben and Jerry; We even hooked up last night

Photobucket

I have not been working out

I am a Diva

Photobucket
Every now and then, I see pictures of myself in random places

Photobucket

I am a workaholic

I am only interested in guys that will spoil me rotten; I'm worth it, why not? They always come up short, so I stay single

I am obsessed with Secret Diary of a Call Girl

I think Destiny's Child should get back together

I am in love

Photobucket

Sometimes I get camera shy

I have no time to date

I am addicted to traveling 

Photobucket

I have a wonky smile

Photobucket

I sleep in random places

Photobucket

I prefer the simple life

I have a secret relationship with Tyson Beckford

Photobucket


I get told, at least once a day, that I am crazy

Photobucket
Photobucket

Photobucket



Saturday 4 October 2008

Loving Life!!


Heeeeey!

Life is great! I'm feeling really good despite rubbish that's trying to bring me down. Nothing's stopping me now! I'm trying to remember everything since my last post.....

Ok so I last wrote after the Catwalk Live event right? Well after a very late night I still had to be up at the crack of dawn for more filming, then we went over some footage, etc. Then I had a meeting that I was 2 hours late for!! :0

Then...... The workshop!! Went so well I actually had to have a little cry! It's just mad how everything is falling into place, especially with my career. I now know and understand what the struggle is all about. The girls we selected to attend were fantastic; I will let you know when the footage is up. They got some amazing shots! And they all seem so happy with how the day went and the feedback is just mad positive that I've been smiling ever since! ;) Reem and I never expected it to go so well because we were so busy with our own work committments that we just kinda prayed, literally, for a successful day. So thank you God.

Straight from the workshop we headed to Sway's album launch party which was MASSIVE. The music was off the hook, the crowd was wicked and what can I say? I had the best time in a long time. I'm not complaining but I hardly get to just have a laugh and party it hard these days. Obviously, it's for a good reason; Work Work Work so at some stage BEFORE I am 25 I can just say Party Party Party. But we had many reasons to celebrate that night and I am ashamed to say I got a little tipsy.....

Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket

Went to bed at 6am, then got a phone call at 10am reminding me of my radio interview; I had completely forgot!! But got there on time, good thing it was radio and not TV because I was still feeling drunk! I was so hungover it wasn't even funny. But the interview went well. Thanks Life FM for having me, and a big shout out to DJ Pugwash!

As usual I've got loads more to tell you but I'm going to have to leave you again as my girl just called saying she's 5 mins from me; I'm meeting a couple of my girls and we are gonna go and get something to eat and have a catch up session; we hardly get to see each other! That's what happens when you're hardworking, successful, strong, independant women!!!! You don't have a life! lol. But honestly, tonight is just about me and my girls...No work....No emails...No phone calls, just us.

So I will be writing you another blog soon...

Love you all

Focus is key

Portia xx