So,the story goes like this:
I've always had haters, I'm sure most of you reading this have. No matter what line of work you are in, you will have haters.
Definition of a hater:Someone who is jealous and envious and spends all
their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall. (Thanks to Maya Angelou)
Before I elaborate, let me raise a few very valid points about haters.
Haters can’t stand to see you happy,
Haters will never want to see you succeed,
Haters never want you to get the victory,
But most importantly......Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side.
How do you handle your undercover haters?
You can handle these haters by:
1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life. Purpose does not mean having a job;You can have a job and still be unfulfilled. A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.
3. By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not human manipulation
Fulfill your dreams!
You only have one life to live…...when it’s your time to leave this earth,
you want to be able to say, ‘I’ve lived MY life and fulfilled MY dreams… Now I’m ready to go HOME!'
When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don’t look at me…Look at Who is in charge of me…’
Haters are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever good enough! When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters…That’s why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can’t handle seeing you blessed.
So..... I hope now that some of you are more clued up about haters and how to deal with them? And for those who are my haters and reading this blog, as you do avidly, realise that you are your own biggest hater! That's not good!
Ok, so a hater has been broken down... let me continue with my short story.
So, for over a year now I think, personal pictures of me, pictures which I have never published or taken for any commercial or entertainment purpose, pictures which are strictly for myself and of course my lucky man, have been posted up all over the internet including my fan pages and social network sites. Someone even went as far as to open new accounts in my name, email addresses, social sites and post up all these pictures.
Now these pics are not images that I would want anyone but myself or my man to see.
How did such personal pics get out you ask?
I was booked to appear at a club in Kensington one evening. I went with my girl, but stupidly not with my PA at the time. In fact the first thing the manager said to me when I got there was "Where's Rebecca". I had told her not to worry coming, that I was going to behave and she wouldn't be needed.
The reality is the club got me extremely drunk. Ok, I got myself drunk. But Belvedere Vodka mixed with endless champagne is a guaranteed formula for a drunken state right?
Anyway the whole night was a blur, my personal belongings were left on my table. Usually Rebecca would have been there and she would stay sober, my things would be safe etc etc. But being the silly cow I was, I left them on the table and danced the night away. I remember at one point even leaving the VIP and hitting the main dance floor, so yes, my bag was just...there.
Anyhoo, woke up the next morning on Lisas sofa. Now most of the time my phone is with me and literally the second I woke up (dry mouthed and hungover) I had that horrible sinking feeling you know you get when you know you've lost something? I just knew instantly I had lost my phone, oh that feeling in my stomach, it was horrible! I rang it immediately and it actually rang. No answer.... then about 20 minutes later, mobile phone switched off.
I literally cried instantly cos what hurt me the most is I had such personal family stuff on there, like video footage of good memories,jus vids u crave to watch again, you know? Endless pics....
And of course, not before long, my personal pics started to get posted up.
They were naughtyISH pics, yes, but they were MY naughtyISH pics. (They werent actually that bad, coulda been a lot worse!) What I do for my man or in my spare time has nothing to do with anyone else. Yet I put myself in the public eye with my line of work so I guess I will have to explain things from time to time. I dont think I mentioned or wrote a blog when the images first started getting posted up; my PA literally saw to it that they were removed as quickly as they were put up, and after talking to a couple of big names in the industry, who reminded me of HATERS and how it is a reflection of MY success, I felt better. I knew there was literally nothing I could do about it anymore; they had my pics, the pics were out there.
"Sighs"
I stopped feeling sorry for myself and instantly felt sorry for the poor girl that was doing this
Girl; why did I make you so mad? I'm sorry xx
Anyway, that was aaaages ago and things went quiet for a while as far as the images went. And I continued to work, NEVER doing a topless shoot, not doing cheap shoots or anything distasteful, and apart from one or two "favours" YEARS ago never doing videos. Even the ones I did do were not degrading, I was fully clothed etc.
I have made my name by being choosy and respecting myself and not falling into the typical urban model category; tell me when you saw me at a typical UK model event? Don't for a second think I'm putting UK models down, cos that is far from what I'm doing, but anyone who is being honest knows the UK model industry is slipping. Besides, money talks, and it doesn't talk loud enough in most videos, features, underground gigs etc, as far as I'm concerned.
So recently after interviewing Tevin Campbell, I passed through a photo shoot that was taking place and was asked to do a quick interview for Nothing But Talent. I'll be the first to say it wasn't my best interview; I had the flu, had had little sleep as had found out about the Tevin interview literally the night before and had had to stay up researching. No excuses, but I'm my biggest critic and no it wasn't an award winning interview lol. I was ill, tired, but most importantly; IT WAS JUST A QUICK FRIENDLY CHAT.
I was waiting for the haters comments, but damn; at least some constructive criticism! The classic had to be the person who said excitable wasn't a word. Oh no, the classic had to be the one who after clearly sitting there watching me for 10 minutes, turned round and said "Wheres the lingerie then, shes making it up", after I had clearly said I'm hoping to launch it at the end of the year BUT I AM NOT RUSHING ANYTHING; I LIKE TO DO THINGS RIGHT. Who must I rush for, you? Nope, sorry, if I rush it's for myself..... and it's not gonna happen!
Wait for it though...... just when I thought that was hilarious, I get "She does do topless modelling, oh and Ive seen her tatto on her arse"
BITCH PLEASE; Show me these PUBLISHED, PRINTED and USED images that are topless. The images posted up were the same images from my phone, sent to my man, that were posted up after my club booking and phone loss. So obviously I assumed it was the same person. Which means.....
This bitch has had a vendetta against me for OVER A YEAR
WOW!!!!!!
It has to be someone close to me right? Someone who has had access to my lappy; someone maybe who even smiled and faked it out and danced the night away with me that night.
Aspiring high-achievers, hardworkers, successful peeps; BEWARE. People just wanna see you fall
Damn!! Life is crazy
Oh and something else to set straight;
I didnt say I had recorded with Leona Lewis, I said I had been in the studio and watched big artists and producers at work, meanwhile being inspired to write my own content. I was in Atlanta the same time as Leona. Not that big a deal.
I had had a real bad day and when I saw the images posted up again I will admit, as much as I hate to, that I felt quite upset. Hatred is EVIL. I might have been just a bit of a bully in school (hey it's be the bully or get bullied right?) but constant mean antics and spiteful behaviour, its just not necessary.
Corny moment time.....
SPREAD THE LOVE
Of course I was inundated with messages of support, and I was literally feeling better quite quickly; like my girl Xian said "Fuck A Bitch thats gotta hide behind a PC and cuss you" ;)
My man sat me down and I swear the way he reasons with me is something else. He's a blessing to me and if I'm being honest I'd be lost in many ways if I didn't have him to keep me sane! He reminded me what a greedy, competitive, envious and pathetic industry I am a part of; he said he's never understood why someone like me is even in it! But it's not all bad. Like my wise friend Toya said; you just have to find the meaning and purpose in everything you do. Just because the majority of those that surround us in this fake industy are exactly that, fake, doesn't mean I can't still shine and take whats good from it.
Obviously I've achieved more than the sad cow that's been plotting against me ever has or ever will.
So why was I affected yesterday?
Am I becoming too nice? Am I dropping my mask? Or am I starting to feel incomplete?
This experience has given me a new idea to add to my workshops though. Yes my modelling workshops. I'm not a bitch like many others; can you believe girls message me on facebook asking why I would want to teach other girls stuff that they could then use against me? Can you believe it? Do they not all realise that we can all shine? I can give you my tips, my advice, my help, equip you, start you off, etc, but then it is also up to that person to be wise enough to use my advice and make it their own. The way anyone else shnines will never be the same way I shine. We all glow differently, I guess. We all have something different to offer. Yes, we are all lightbulbs Portia.
Some people are clearly not switched on though; I know that much
So, lesson learned readers;
BE WORRIED WHEN YOU HAVE NO HATERS. Trust me. It's sad, but it's true. Only then be worried.
Keep your head down, remember YOUR purpose, do not allow yourself to be socially created, keep striving. Allow yourself off days, you are allowed to slip up, you are human. Just make sure you learn from the blip, change direction if necessary, but KEEP IT MOVING. Make every day a learning day.
Remember, every day is a good day, even the bad ones. Sometimes you NEED the worst shit to happen to you, and for your whole world to come crashin down, in order to rebuild and reach your full potential. Its a blessing xxxx
Portia xx
Oh, and you can watch the interview below, or check outhttp://nothingbuttalent.blogspot.com/2009/11/nbt-hook-up-with-portia-freno-for-chat.html to read comments from both supporters and haters. Haters, feel free to leave more comments, pictures etc, always welcome ;) I'm sure NBT would also like to thank you for the mad hits they've experienced since my interview; I'm good for business! Love ya all xxxx
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