Well I don't really know where to start! The last two days have been soooo hectic but soooo much fun!! A lot of hard work and I am feeling like crap! But it's been wicked. The evening of my last post, I ended up going to the UMA launch party and Urban Superstar Semi-Finals. I wasn't going to go but I got calls and I was in the area anyway (was stuffing my face in Mr Jerks) so thought I might as well pass through. I looked a bit of a state as I had been running around all day and everyone was dressed up! It didn't help that my photographer Jay Stewart insisted on snapping me all damn night looking like shite AND on top of that tagged the damn pics on FaceBook! But I had a really nice night; It was a bit of a reunion actually! Saw some faces I've missed so that was nice.... Uk's got some serious talent; well done to all that performed.

I've been filming for a new show (You'll just have to wait to see it) I'm not sure and haven't checked how much I can tell you about it but lets just say it's a fantastic project! Oh I can't wait till it's all finished. The last 2 days filming was only a tiny segment! Anyway, I am co-presenting with China's number 1 RnB singer Ayi Jihu and I know you are all going to love it. I want to thank Supafly for dressing me and making sure I've got the latest Apple Bottom's and Baby Phat ;)

After filming all day, I attended Catwalk live as there was an oriental modeling competition going on, with Abercrombie and Fitch and Impact model management looking for a new oriental face. There were some great girls on the catwalk; and some not so great. The judges and I had a little laugh. But they all did really well. I interviewed a few of them before the show, and then interviewed the finalists. I'm looking forward to the finals!

Today it was back to filming, despite getting a really late night. But I'm not complaining; Mackin Scissors hooked me up with a serious body massage and manicure to prepare me for shooting...Thanks! And thank you God for a bit of sun over the weekend, really appreciated!! We did a lot of filming outside so that made our lives easier.

I'm going to try to get an early night; whether or not that will happen is another story. I've been asked to be on the panel for a casting tomorrow. I think it is a casting for The Sunday Show, Lil Wayne and Joe Budden. So good luck to any girl that's attending.

Let me love you and leave you; I've still got so much to tell you but I really can't stare at this screen any longer because my eyes are stinging like mad!!

Never give up on your dream. Not ever.

Portia xx

Old Beginnings...

Ok so I have been feeling a little crazy recently; In this industry it's very hard to know who to trust and sometimes you feel suffocated, smothered; Other times lonely or confused....

I know it's part of the journey though and I am now feeling a lot more positive. It's mad how my feelings yoyo from one extreme to the other. But then that's what this industry is like. I had a very important meeting 2 days ago which I feel in my heart is the start of something good...

The last couple of days have been a combination of work and pleasure; the workshops are a priority right now; plus I'm about to start filming and I am making a lot of changes. Yesterday I went to a low p little spot in Camden for a dance with a few of my people. It was cool. I liked that it wasn't a hype or anything extravagant. It was what I needed right then; Hip hop, a little drink, a little dance. Yo Sushi is my latest favourite spot to munch, so that's where I am between every meeting. Literally.

People let you down, but then others are there to pick you up; and that's what matters. If you have noone to pick you up you'll have problems. I'm lucky to have friends around me that I can trust with my life and that I know will always be there for me.

A lot of you still email me about my post regarding what love can do to you. It's good to know that so many of you relate. Well to be honest I decided to follow my head and not my heart; A few days ago, I stayed with him for what I believe and what I hope to be the last time. It was lovely and wonderful and it's obvious that we are still in love; but I cannot be in something that doesn't help me to grow.

Girls, It doesn't matter how much they say they love you or how much you love them; If they do not appreciate or encourage you in your chosen career paths then they are not the one.

To be honest it is the epitome of bad timing; I am not ready to get married or give up my career; It's only just starting as far as I am concerned! I am 21, excited to think of my future and where I will be by 25/26. Then I will settle down and have children, so I can provide for them fully and give them my all.

Why do men want to trap you and make you their "Trophy wife" ?

And does it mean that you don't love them as much if you are not willing to sacrifice it all for them? Or are they the ones that can't truly love you if they expect you to sacrifice it all for them?

What a load of confusing and time-wasting shit.

Thats why for a while now it's just going to be about me. And if the right guy comes along he will just have to fit into my schedule ;) No just kidding but seriously, I am done with being controlled or being told how to live. No one can do that for me but me.

He says he loves me, he chose me over all the others, he wants to find a wife blah blah blah

Sorry but not going to happen. Keep the other night as a special memory. ;)

Time we moved on

As for moving on, I am looking at apartments in Miami..... I AM SICK OF LONDON!!

Anyway, the sun is shining and I'm feeling good! I'm about to meet a lovely friend of mine that I haven't seen for a while and miss so much!

I may not be on here for the next few days as I will be filming, but I will do my best to keep you posted

Love ya

Portia xx

DROWNING

Sometimes I feel like I am struggling to stay afloat; Every time I get above the surface something pulls me down again, constantly trying to drown or suffocate me. I can't breathe. I can't sleep. I shout but no one hears me. I struggle, I stay positive and strong, but something stronger, something evil tries to destroy me.

Sometimes, rarely, a float passes my way. It guides me and it helps me. It shows me that things will be ok; I just have to keep holding on. But it's not always that easy to hold on. The float gets washed away, or my fingers cannot keep grip. How many times will I fall before drowning? How many times will someone kick me back down the minute I land on solid ground?

FINALLY!!

Finally!! You can see some footage from my networking event; there is another version shot by Jump Off that I will put up for you soon....

Thank you to 601 TV for covering the event. The link is below... enjoy ;) xxxx

Please note that I wasn't "founded" by "Hot Pinq", nor have I ever been booked for a job through them.

http://www.new.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=37427914407

I'm off to an important meeting this evening; quite nervous so wish me luck!

Portia xx

UNBELIEVABLE

I don't know where to start; so I will just get straight to the point.

I like to think that I don't have enemies; it's too time consuming and I can't put up with all that negative shit. It's pointless, it's not constructive, and it doesn't do anyone any good.

Recently I have been getting messages asking if I know a particular person as she has been speaking my name, spreading lies and rumours and generally having too much time for me. I have been ignoring these messages as I don't want to waste my breath talking about someone so insignificant to me. If I do respond; I just say that I don't know who they are talking about and get on with something more positive or worth my while.

Anyway, today my suspicions were confirmed; a 30 year old woman named Nadine Marissa Charles, and another girl called Nadia Yasmin Chaudhery have set up fake profiles and are sending out messages to everyone on myspace and facebook from these fake profiles AND also their own profiles, bad-mouthing me and spreading some really horrible, nasty, untrue stuff. What's funny is the two sad cows even spoke about what they were going to do on Nadines wall, spent their times composing it, and got really excited about it.

Anyway, hundreds of loyal fans and friends have messaged me and forwarded me the messages and have confirmed that it is these two pathetic girls.

Now I tried to avoid having to even breathe their names, cos lets face it, what they are doing is sad but above all that it is nasty and cruel, something I shouldn't have to tolerate. But they have taken it too far and I need to let people know exactly what these girls are about. Now I am not going to name-call or get personal, because that would put me on their lower than low level. But I will happily let you all know the ridiculous levels that girls will go to when they are jealous of someone or unhappy with their own lives. I think that Nadine should spend more time on herself and her own career as I do mine. Will she still be doing this when she hits 40?

I want to thank all the messages that I have received regarding this matter; they were touching and it's good to see that most people can see through jealousy and bitchiness. I also want to thank you all for making me aware. You are all right; I know now that it is simply jealousy. You all tell me to keep my head up and ignore it because they are evil and are just living proof that I am successful. But to be honest it's slightly depressing; I don't need nastiness like this right now. It's not nice to think that so many lies are being spread. I can only pray for them and hope that they get a life and learn to love themselves. When people are bitches like that it can only be because they are angry or unhappy with themselves. Which makes it their problem, not mine. The last message I read said that I shouldn't even mention them as it is giving them status they don't deserve; maybe they want some publicity or to be noticed?

All I'm trying to do is live my life in a healthy, happy and positive way, as well as helping others along the way. All of my businesses are aimed towards helping people, yet I have girls trying to bring me down!! It's crazy....

Take this as a lesson guys; The more successful you get, the more spite and evil you have to endure.

When will it end?

What is hilarious is they will actually try to deny it; when there is SOLID PROOF from hundreds of people that they have even sent it from their own profile. Wow. There is no way they can get out of this yet they will continue to lie. I feel sorry for them

I can't be bothered to speak on the matter any more; They've had their moment of fame.

Thank you to those that are there for me and again, thank you for making me aware

Love you all

Portia xxxx

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=e-LFBNbDzBs

A Nice Surprise From Kanye...

kanYe West : Blog 7:38pm

Source: www.kanyeuniversecit...

I was feeling slightly irritable today. I was getting frustrated with work and emails. Realised I hadn't eaten a proper meal yet by the time it was 7pm and kinda figured that was also a factor



Anyway I signed into FB and guess what? My friend had left me a lovely little congratulatory message for being featured on Kanye West's blog! He was like "You probably already know.."

But I didn't! To be honest I only ever saw his blog once when my girl Kesh was on it...

I was just really flattered because I had no idea, and other women he has spoke about in previous posts include Ciara, Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson, Naomi Campbell, Stacey Dash, Cassie, Kelly Brook....

Anyway that had me smiling for a bit ;)

Thanks to everyone supporting me and for all your lovely messages and emails

Portia xx

P.s Check out my workshops xx

Edit

BECOME A PROFESSIONAL MODEL WITH PORTIA

DO YOU WANT TO MODEL? ARE YOU AN EXISTING MODEL? PORTIA KEEPS IT REAL AT HER MASTER CLASS AND WORKSHOP. Being the first and only U.K model to appear in Americas SHOW, Portia has had enough experience ...

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

Things are looking good ;)

I have been forgetting to eat (ok lets face it, not forgetting but not having the time) and I am looking a bit rough due to lack of sleep looool but Oh My Days it is worth it.

It wouldn't be so bad if I only had my modeling to concentrate on; but because of my businesses and other projects I hardly get a spare second. Slowly but surely I am building my team ;)

Having people you can trust to help you really makes a difference. But as you know I find it hard to trust people when it comes to my work and end up doing EVERYTHING.

The dates for my calendar shoots have been confirmed. I will be having a launch party soon so look out for that. You know it'll be big!! Reem and I are going to be casting for stunning girls for the launch so keep checking for that. I should also be having launch parties in Holland, Belgium and other places so I'm just really excited.  

Things are falling into place..... I feel blessed...

It's always good to count your blessings

Ok so since my last blog...what can I remember.............ummmm. Oh I can remember that I was supposed to go to the London Week Of Peace because I wanted to support a few of my friends; Ayi Jihu who performed at one of my events and was fantastic! http://www.ayijihu.com 

She's such a wicked performer; she stole the show!! So much energy...And also FDM; big in the game. Still waiting to hear about a group in the UK that can actually really sing and dance. They are amazing at both. Which is why they are blowing...  http://www.myspace.com/FDMonline

But I couldn't make it due to unexpected phone calls and stuff to do, so straight after the shoot I was working working working. Pissed I missed it to be honest; wanted to support. Plus I was only down the road which made it worse

Yesterday I was running around; had LOTS of meetings and by 7pm I was almost dying of fatigue and my bloody feet were killing me. But after a meal and some Pinot Grigiot in Pizza Express with a few of my friends I was feeling a lot better, (and tipsy) forgot about the pain and ended up at the Street MC Battles for Jump Off and T4.......http://www.jumpoff.tv/Post/Street-Battle-Basement-in-London_26401 .........I'm not promoting getting drunk in public because I tend to not drink at events but this was different ;) ........SoI got what you might call a bit more than tipsy and had sooooo much fun. It was hilarious.  No pictures. Soorrrreee. But I have had meetings with production companies that want to film me and also Reem and I together so you'll be seeing all the Behind The Scenes, including 

WhatYourNotSupposedToReallySeeButWe'llShowYouAnyway footage, as well as my constructive side obviously ;) And lots of other stuff but I'm not gonna brief ya, sorry. You'll just have to wait. But in the meantime you will soon be able to watch a video blog of myself and Reem, just something either ourselves or our camera crew have filmed. We have been filming bits and bobs so we will be putting it all together for you to have a laugh any time now. 

It's such a shame how you miss getting certain moments on camera though isn't it?  In life, you never know what might happen.  Which is why when I can and I remember I tend to get stuff recorded....

After the battles I went to see a friend........Life confuses me......Or I confuse me......Bit of both

Today, working but not as much; had a lazyish morning though. I shouldn't really be chilling out right now but to be honest I can't move right now! So it's the usual; emails emails emails. Proposals/editing.  If it's not that it's bloody social networks like FACEBOOK and I'm not dissing it but it is demanding!! And if it's not that it's phone calls... so as I write I have just put my phone on silent; it's already kinda on silent, vibrate or beep once cos I can't stand ringtones but that has now been turned right off.   Peace.......Something I need right now

It's now 7.20 and I haven't eaten since early afternoon so I'm going to go and raid the kitchen...

Catch you soon 

Portia x x

6.40 AM....

Heeeeeyyy. It's 6.40am and I am sooo tired but I'm still working despite the fact that my head is still aching like mad and every few minutes I wake up because I've knocked my head on the keyboard.  But....Had a really constructive day; got a lot done so the side effects of sleep deprivation  are worth it. I started the day with Reem's photoshoot; she shot for PHLOH mag www.myspace.com/privateforum and I went down to support her plus meet with some of the crew and designers about some business.  It was an outside shoot and the weather was gorgeous so it turned out to be a really enjoyable morning. Reem and I caught so much joke as usual and we brought the camera... ;)  For exclusive Behind  The Scenes footage of us you're just going to have to wait.... but I've uploaded a short vid of the shoot for you. 

Thanks to ZEETVD for the edit

C0-Editers: Portia Freno & Reem Kanj  ;) (Be proud of us)

Gonna leave you guys with that and get back to you in a bit because I just found out I have to pop out

Portia x x 

I HAVE THE WORST MIGRAINE EVER!!!!

My head is BANGING! I have never had a headache so flippin bad. I don't really get headaches; but when I do it's nothing a bottle of water can't clear.

Right now this is not the case.

It's quite inconvenient as well because I've been running around most of the day and have so much to do that it's just peeing me off. 

Anyway, things are really hectic at the moment; my head is just buzzing with plans, ideas, my projects. Maybe that's why I have a migraine. I've got a workshop coming up and sorting that out is crazy! But I want it to be really good for all the girls that attend so it's worth it. I'm shooting my calendar! yeeeeeeeeeeeeey how exciting!! I'm supposed to be eating well and working out..............hmmmmmm.............

Yeah so on top of that there's the next jump off, then there's the next issue of Eclectic....

There are events to plan, events to attend, shoots to be shot, girls to be scouted....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That's the noise in my head right now

Ever feel like there aren't enough hours in the day? THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY.

Sometimes I wanna just get on a plane and disappear away from it all. End up on some deserted island. With just a few essentials, of course. 

Couple of my girls

Couple of my boys

Cocktails

Food

Live music

That's why I have to work hard now, play harder later.  

Anyway I need to cook dinner and then get back to my emails....

Ben, Jerry and myself have become really good friends recently. Like, the best of friends. I need to put an end to this friendship. It is destructive and no good for me. 

Best cure for a headache though ;)

Portia x x

Just for you... x x

Here's a little snippet of me shooting for a magazine feature in LA. I am the first and only non-American to grace the pages so I am really proud! I had like a 10 page spread or something, as well as lots of shots throughout the mag...anyway....enjoy x x

Portia x x

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAtdNW2Woq8

My models from the Sep 08 Jump Off x x

Hey,

Ok so you can now check out some of the pics from the photo shoot at the Jump Off; celebrating HHC's 20th Anniversary. Even better, you can vote for the model you want to get a feature in Hip Hop Connection! All the girl's were fantastic and it's going to be hard only sending one for the magazine spread. I'm just glad they are all getting really good exposure. I will let you all know when their interviews/videos are up...

The link to view and vote is below; make sure you pick your favourite!

Portia x x x x


http://www.jumpoff.tv/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8370

Hello from Stockholm x x

Hey guys,

I've got a spare 10 minutes so thought I should post up a quick blog; I've hardly had time to be on the net the last few days....It's been quite hectic. I'll start off with the Jump Off last Monday; wicked night!! I started the night off with my photoshoot; I chose 5 girls to model in front of a live audience. It was Hip Hop Connections 20th Anniversary, so I got them posing with lots of big artists. I was really really proud of my models; they were fantastic! I got them a lot of exposure; Jump Off filmed their shoot and interviewed them and Jump off's site gets so many hits! One of the girls will get a spread in HHC's November issue! Big stuff ;) There were also quite a few clients at the event that have already started enquiring about booking my models for work; I am so happy! A successful night! It was a full house; well done to Ara who was sweating and working hard all night! And I'm really grateful to those that came down to support it; I've had loads of positive feedback about the shoot!

The next morning I had a shoot myself which actually got cancelled last minute! :( So guess what I did instead? Went to the Harrods Pizzeria and stuffed my face (That spot has been attacked a few times too many in the last few months) Still, everytime I order my usual; a margherita with avocado, the waitress gives me the same look and says the same thing "This is what you ordered, right?" YEEEESSS. You know it's what I ordered. What is so strange about avocado on a pizza? Trust me it is beautiful. I am a food expert; I should know. Talking about food; I really have been enjoying it a bit too much really; I'm lucky that I can eat so much and not get fat, but I don't want to speak too soon! I'm in shape for my calendar right now; let's keep it that way.... ;)

No but I really have been over-indulging in ice cream and pizza, and Selfridges do the best jacket potatoes that come the size of the plate. Oh I love it.

Ok, enough about food. So Wednesday I had a telephone interview which will be put in a US mag (I'll let you know when it's out) and then I had a shoot where I more or less looked bald...but the pics look hot, seriously! Thursday, yesterday, I didn't do much physically; spent a lot of the time on the phone abroad (business) did some light shopping and had a quick dinner date...

I am about to leave the house now; I have a lunch meeting and I also need to finalise details for my next workshop. More details will be posted up on here soon http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=9658239703&refurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fs.php%3Fn%3D-1%26k%3D200000010%26init%3Ds%253Agroup%26q%3Dbecome%2Ba%2Bprofessional

Join the page and it will keep you posted.

Anyway, gotta love you and leave you,

Back soon,

Portia x x